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Answers To Commonly Asked Questions About The Adoption Process

When Speaking With The Birth Mother On The Phone For The First Time, What Should We Talk About?

I believe that open and honest communication is essential to making the adoption experience a good one for all and, therefore, encourage my clients to discuss various topics including but not limited to:

  1. Physical characteristics: (In the event that either of you have not seen a picture of each other).
  2. Family composition: (e.g., exchange information regarding marital status, brothers, sisters, parents, and the relationships that exist, between family members.) Has she told family members about the adoption?
  3. Employment history: (e.g., find out whether or not she is working and if not, how is she supporting herself).
  4. Hobbies and special interests: (Here you have an opportunity to find out what the birth mother and yourself have in common).
  5. Pets: ones that you may have and/or she may have.
  6. Her pregnancy: e.g., how for along is she? Has she received prenatal care? Is there an ultrasound? What's the name of the doctor she has been seeing and what city is he/she located? Has she used drugs during pregnancy? Has she used alcohol during pregnancy? Does she smoke cigarettes? Will she let you speak with her doctor? Does she have medical insurance?
  7. Birth father: Find out if she knows who he is and where he is. Ask whether or not he is aware of
    her adoption plans and if so, does he agree? If he is unaware, how does she believe he
    will react upon finding out? Explore the relationship that exists between the birth mother
    and birth father.
  8. Ancestry: Is she American Indian?
  9. Why adoption? Reasons why she believes adoption is the best alternative. Has she explored other options?
  10. What is she looking for? Does she know what she is looking for in prospective adoptive parents? Find out if she has spoken to any other families, agencies, attorneys, or other adoption professionals.
  11. Counseling: Find out whether or not she has had counseling or would like it now. Find out if her friends and/or family are supportive of her decision to place the child for adoption.
  12. Representation: Find out whether or not she is willing to speak with your attorney, therapist or adoption facilitator.
The list goes on and on and on. Most importantly, don't forget to get her full name, address and telephone number. REMEMBER, there are no right or wrong questions.

If you need additional information regarding the answers to these questions, please call MARC WIDELOCK at 1-800-MR-STORK.

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