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Positive Adoption Language
The way we talk, and the words we choose, say a lot about what we think and value.
When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a
family just as birth is. Both are important but one is not more important than the
other. Choose the following positive adoption language instead of the negative talk
that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption
language, you'll reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.
| Positive Language | Negative Language |
| Birthparent | Real parent |
| Biological parent | Natural parent |
| Birth child | Own child |
| My child | Adopted child; Own child |
| Born to unmarried parents | Illegitimate |
| Terminate parental rights | Give up |
| Make an adoption plan | Give away |
| To parent | To keep |
| Waiting child | Adoptable child; Available child |
| Biological father | Begettor |
| Making contact with | Reunion |
| Parent | Adoptive parent |
| International adoption | Foreign adoption |
| Adoption triad | Adoption triangle |
| Permission lo sign a release | Disclosure |
| Search | Track down parents |
| Child placed for adoption | An unwanted child |
| Court termination | Child taken away |
| Child with special needs | Handicapped child |
| Child from abroad | Foreign child |
| Was adopted | Is adopted |
Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings. When a TV movie talks about a
custody battle between "real parents" and "other parents " society gets the
wrong impression that only birth parents are real parents and that adoptive
parents aren't real parents. Members of society may also wrongly conclude that
all adoptions are "battles."
Positive adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these.
By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption. We choose
emotionally "correct" words over emotionally-laden words. We speak and write in positive
adoption language with the hopes of impacting others so that this language will someday
become the norm.
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